Shatner Claus Coming to Christmas Music

Ageless and shameless William Shatner continues his assault on Christmas with the release of a new album now available for pre-order at Amazon. The album has been dubbed Shatner Claus.

(Editor’s note: This is NOT satire. This is actually happening. Hide your children).

Amazon has already listed Shatner Claus for pre-orders, and it will be available on CD and as a vinyl record. Currently, there are no audio previews for this record, but presumably Shatner will recapture the spoken music sound of his previous albums. This time, Shatner is being joined by several famous musicians who will lend their voices to his Christmas song covers. Henry Rolins, Brad Paisley, Iggy Pop, Mel Collins, and Judy Collins are among the contributors for the album.

Wanna know what you’re in for with this? Here’s a blast from a past Christmas release by the former Captain Kirk:

Here is the track listing:

1. Jingle Bells Feat. Henry Rollins
2. Blue Christmas Feat. Brad Paisley
3. Little Drummer Boy Feat. Joe Louis Walker
4. Winter Wonderland Feat. Todd Rundgren & Artimus Pyle
5. Twas the Night Before Christmas Feat. Mel Collins
6. Run Rudolph Run Feat. Elliot Easton
7. O Come, O Come Emmanuel Feat. Rick Wakeman
8. Silver Bells Feat. Ian Anderson
9. One for You, One for Me
10. Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer Feat. Billy Gibbons
11. Silent Night Feat. Iggy Pop
12. White Christmas Feat. Judy Collins
13. Feliz Navidad Feat. Dani Bender

The new release will be available on CD or on vinyl ($25!!!).

I would be remiss if I did not remind you that William Shatner is 87 years old.

Not that that is a bad thing.

But at 87, who is he competing with? And who is going to supply the good captain with oxygen?

Of course, Spock, Bones and Scotty are all gone. It makes sense that Shatner would have to feature “guest artists”.

If you’re looking for it in stores, this is what the album cover looks like (using, obviously, a image of Shatner that has to be at least 30 years old).

Bing Bugle

Bing Bugle is a former popular vocalist who unfortunately suffered a career-ending industrial accident when he gargled with a combination of salt-water and spiced Wassail. Bing is attempting to rebuild his career writing about Christmas music and modern artists.

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