Fruit Loop Candy Canes

Fruit Loop Candy Canes Coming

Fruit Loop candy canes are coming for Christmas. Don’t ask why.

Over the course of the past five years weird flavors have been a trend in the candy cane business. We’ve seen candy canes flavored like bacon, popcorn, rotisserie chicken, clams, Wasabi, pickles, gravy, sriracha, mac & cheese, coffee and Cinnabon flavors.

We have warned you about these before.

The Fruit Loop foray into candy canes should not be a surprise. They came out with Fruit Loop peeps at Easter this year. There was even a Fruit Loop White Chocolate Bunny for Easter this year.

I suppose the assault on Easter by whoever is pushing the Fruit Loop brand was bound to extend to Christmas. What’s next? Fruit Loops Fudge? Fruit Loops Eggnog? How about Fruit Loops Fruit Cake?

The possibilities are literally endless.

Alas, its time to admit something about Fruit Loops. It is common knowledge that each box of the hyper-sugarized ceral has six different colors.

Those are colors. Not flavors.

Every single thing in a fruit loops box is flavored the same. There is no difference between the red and the green.

This is a shocking revelation to many. For some, it has made a farce of their entire childhoods.

If you can’t depend on Fruit Loops to be genuine, just who can you trust?

There is suspicion about these candy canes, too. Unlike Froot Loops cereal that has distinct red, orange, yellow, green, blue, and purple colors, the candy canes are white with twists of red, green, and a brownish color.

Just what is the flavor of red, green and…um, brownish? Danger, Will Robinson.

After all, since every fruit loop ever made has been the same flavor since the beginning of time just how do you describe that flavor? What is Fruit Loops?

Look, we’re living in a world now of mystery foods. There’s fake meat and “milk” that comes from almonds and oats.

We’re done with the fakery.

When it comes to Christmas we just want the truth, doggone it.

I mean, what’s next? Are they going to tell us there’s no Santa Claus?

Latest posts by Washington Irving Berlin (see all)