Oreo is the Next Bad Idea in a History of Nasty Candy Canes

The biggest news in Christmas this week is the announcement of Oreo flavored candy canes — coming soon.

We’re trying to understand why this is news. We have seen it all over social media, on food websites and even on venues dedicated to Christmas collecting. Why?

Oreo flavored candy canes are just the latest in a long line of really nasty candy cane flavors.

We’ve seen this kind of thing before. Who could forget Pixy Stix candy canes?

Pixy Stix Candy Canes

Candy canes have long been a Christmas mystery food. The world has been desperate to try to explain candy canes and just what they have to do with Christmas. In those attempts they have wrongfully taught us that candy canes get their J-like shape as a symbol of Jesus’ name. Others say that the curved “hook” of the candy cane is reminiscent of the Shepherd’s crook, as in the shepherds that witnessed Jesus at the Nativity.

Other legends say that candy canes have their Christmas ties to their natural colors — red and white. Red symbolizing the blood of Christ and white symbolizing his purity.

The legend goes that long ago in a land far away peppermint candy was given to rambunctious choir boys to keep them quiet during Christmas church services and this is the reason it became part of the season.

That’s all bunk.

There’s nothing mysterious about candy canes. There’s nothing remotely associated between Christmas and candy canes either.

They came, like the many secular things of Christmas, as a result of a profit driven motive. Bob Spangler — yes, of Spangler candy canes — saw what HE colored red and white as a prime candidate for sales during the holiday season. About 100 years ago this dawned on him and being without competition he set up a candy cane empire.

A century later we’ve come full circle. We’re not longer looking for ways to tie candy canes to Christmas. No, the great American mind has moved on — and has now tried to make any flavor to be sold at Christmas look like a candy cane.

Behold the imagination of the American profiteer:

Bacon candy canes. American, yes….but Christmas?
Pickle candy cane. We kid you not.
Cinnabon candy cane. Because they weren’t sticky enough.
Wasabi candy cane. For the Grinch in all of us.

HW Longfellow

A moody and tragic figure, Mr. Longfellow joins Christmas Weekly after a distinguished career in which he wrote "If it weren't for bad luck I'd have no luck at all". A wry observer of Christmas trends and controversies Longfellow tends to shine a light on the more negative aspects of the modern Christmas. But we know he's a purist at heart and actually waters his fake tree with great hope in his heart.
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