Thieves Steal 300-Pound Ornament

Brazil Christmas TreeThieves have stolen a 300-pound Christmas ornament that is 8-feet tall from a Houston area shopping center. The ornament has a value greater than $7000.

Shopping center officials indicate the ornament disappeared during the overnight hours between Tuesday and Wednesday this week. Surveillance video is being reviewed and the Houston Police Department is investigating the crime.

Investigators are looking at large trees in Arizona, New York, Australia and Brazil in their efforts to recover the ornament.

The largest Christmas tree in the world floats in a harbor in Rio de Janiero in Brazil every Christmas season. It is 278 feet tall and on a tree that large an ornament 8 feet tall would look tiny, according to Houston Police Detective Arnold Bates, who leads the investigation. “We doubt it is headed there but we’re going to be watching anyway when they light that sucker up,” he said. “If we find Houston’s ornament on that tree we may have to go to the U.N.”

Investigators are tight lipped about the other large tree displays they are looking at. Perhaps the most high profile tree in the country is located in New York City at Rockefeller Center. But at just over 60 feet in height it is doubtful the ornament would look right on that tree. It would appear way too oversized. “We have our own ornaments,” replied Rockefeller Center spokesperson Angela Goble.”We wouldn’t import an ornament from Texas if our life depended on it.”

The Arizona tree, located at a shopper mall in Phoenix, is being watched the closest. At 110 feet it usually has the distinction of being the largest tree in North America and the ornament most closely fits its size. Shopping Center officials refused to comment when asked about their decorating plans for the tree and if it would sport anything new this year.

Klement Klark Klaus

K. Klark Klaus is a former professor of theology and, as an academic, abhors the titles of "writer" and "reporter". As a New Yorker he was prominent on his essays on religion for many decades before retiring with his wife to Vermont, where he raises reindeer and writes, er, opines for Christmas Weekly.

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